Caffeine?
Freaking out in Panama??
Pick
up one thing and figure out what to do with it. Relax. Sit down.
Write some more. Pick up one more thing and figure out what to do
with it. Relax. Read a little. Everything is all right. Settle down.
This is how my day is starting. I am feeling very anxious. Was it the
2 cups of coffee? I was fine before breakfast. Is it being out of
touch with my husband and all the people who are important to me? Is
it just being in a state of transition? Maybe it is all catching up
with me? I think it is mostly the coffee. I know I don't do well with
caffeine. This is Panamanian coffee boiled in a pan since I don't
have a coffee maker yet. Maybe it's industrial strength caffeine.
Too much caffeine makes me really nuts. I am definitely feeling nuts.
I'm
in a state of disorganization, not able to find my things, not able
to find places in town, not sure how to do some basic things, and
having to do everything in another language. One of my tires was low
yesterday. Where do you get tires fixed? What is the word for tire?
Can I make myself understood? Can I understand the answers? Can I
find my dictionary??
Pick
up one thing and figure out what to do with it. Get organized. Take
control of my space. I am no longer living out of a suitcase. This is
my home now. Use the empty boxes to organize things. Look up the word
for tire. Ask the friendly neighbors. Do not drink any more coffee.
I've been getting things done for a week here. I can continue to get
things done. It doesn't all have to be today. Poco a poco. (little by
little). No more coffee.
I
started painting the house. It feels good to be doing something
familiar, something to make the house look good. Pull the nails. Fill
the holes. Trim the edges. Roll the walls. Things are getting more
organized. Boxes are in use. Music is playing on the computer. The
coffee is starting to wear off. I am getting my exercise. My step
ladder is a borrowed plastic chair. Step up. Step down.
There
are different sounds here. Panamanian houses have tin roofs. When it
heats up it “pops” and sometimes it sounds like there are
coconuts falling on the roof. Usually though it is more like acorns.
I hear lots of bird songs, none of which are familiar to me. There
are occasional roosters in the distance. And, there are dogs! There
is a pack of half a dozen dogs that seem to hang out on this street,
and they started barking at sunup. One is in heat so I hope that is
the cause of the excitement, and they quiet down when she settles
down. In the afternoon one of the neighbors was hollering at them and
throwing rocks. I haven't seen the dogs since.
In
the afternoon there was no water. I asked the neighbor who didn't
seem worried, and explained that something was going on and it would
be back on later. I think someone is fixing or building something in
the area but I couldn't understand what he said very well. The
internet people didn't come today so I went out to the store at the
end of the day and sure enough, when I returned the water was back
on. I still haven't bought gas tanks so it was a cold shower, but it
felt good. I made it through another day and I've settled down. There
will be no more coffee.
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